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Plan B includes margaritas.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.