Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you`ve fallen off the face of the earth?
I flunked anger management class.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.
Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can`t leave messages now. That`s the kind of genius I am.