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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
There are a lot of side effects to smoking weed. Like never shutting up about the fact that you smoke weed.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It`s useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.