Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?" Me: "Gravity, Mom."
Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
On the outside, I`m smiling...because on the inside, I`m imagining beating you senseless with Hulk Smash Hands.
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn`t listen to me... I said,"You`re about to walk into a lamppost."
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
I swear 90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.
is ready to have one too many!