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Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.