Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
In Starbucks a customer went sh*t house rat crazy when they got a double shot of espresso instead of the triple shot they ordered ... I`m fine now.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.