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I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.