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Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
A massage is just professional petting for humans.
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.