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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
Tattoos are like potato chips. You can`t have just one.
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive behind them slowly blasting Eye of the Tiger for motivation.
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Saying you like one political party over another, is like saying one filthy whore is prettier than the other filthy whore.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
It`s always best to fart when there`s a baby on the bus. They always get the blame.