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I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
I kind of feel like getting some work done today, so Iām just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
It`s a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships.
ROFL!!ā¦.. LOL jk iām still in my chair.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
I wish I had the balls to be a juggler.
Doc: ``Hows your headache ?`` Me: ``She`s at home``
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!