Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When they discover the center of the universe, alot of people will be shocked they`re not in it.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
It`s Saturday morning. My neighbor has mowed his lawn AND weeded his garden. I`ve spent ten minutes trying to reach the remote with my foot.
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
Have you ever held your money and thought "I hope this hasn´t been up a stripper´s butt"
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.