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thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when Iām sober.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
I do 5 situps every morning. I know it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times one can hit the "snooze" button......
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
Iām that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
I don`t throw anything out anymore I just go to TGI Friday`s once a month and glue more sh!t to the wall, no one notices, try it
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards