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You know you`re getting older when your friends start using the term "Pregnant" instead of "Knocked Up"
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
If Crunch Berries aren`t considered fresh fruit I don`t think this diet is going to work out.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.