Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
Just used the holiday card with your kid`s face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don`t have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)