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Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
Cliff diving? No thanks. I get all of my near death thrills by rolling my eyes when my wife asks me to move my feet while she vacuums.
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But Iām skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.