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There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.