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Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.