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Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.