Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
I`d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
They should make Vodka ChapStick
At funerals instead of crying, I tie the dead person’s shoe laces together. It’s not stupid. What if he comes back as a zombie?
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
The only people without problems are in the cemetery.
Suddenly I can`t remember if it`s ok to use tampons as Nerf darts or if it`s the other way around.