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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
It only takes one slow walking person in the grocery store to destoroy the illusion that I am a nice person.
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
When I get to heaven, the first question I`m asking God is, why does my butt have more hair than my head?
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
There`s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.