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I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
I tried to make both ends meet, but I`m a poor judge of distance.
Was there even food before people started posting pictures of it on Instagram?
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.