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Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
My new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by the end of summer. I`ve only got 40 pounds to go.
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday