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When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
Now that I`m turning 40, I need to be careful about what I eat and drink and make sure I am getting my nutrients. That is why I just added pulp-free Orange Juice to my Vodka.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
Good news everyone – my proctologist called and all the tests were negative. Bad news - his ring is missing...