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Some of the nicest women you`ll meet on Facebook are men.
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
Four words that I never want to hear: we`re out of beer
Sometimes I whisper, "I´m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
There are three kinds of people: Those who totally agree with my messages, those who kind of agree with me, and those locked in the trunk of my car.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.