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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.