Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
when my swear jar gets full I`m going to use the money to buy a f*cking puppy
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.