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Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I`d have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
Dinosaurs never had pizza and they all died.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
If I didn`t drink, then how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...