Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
If you need Facebook to remind you it`s your wife`s birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about