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Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.