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If I ran the country, things would be a lot better. Well…for me anyway.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
I’m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.
I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.