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I got kicked out of the pool today ... apperently the breaststroke isn`t what I thought it was.
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon Balls.
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
Life is not fair. But life is not fair for everyone, which actually makes it fair.
Go buy a burrito, leave it in your fridge, get drunk, come home and be your own best secret admirer.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
There needs to be more “damn it I missed my exit” exits.
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.