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We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
Insert coin to view my status message.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
One day id like to have a brand new Iphone like the lady in front of me with the food stamps.
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
"That looks interesting. I think I`ll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.