Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
The loudest possible way to open a bag of chips is to try and do it quietly.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards