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It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
My girlfriend said we can`t hang out this weekend because she doesn`t really exist.
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
Why is it that whenever you dial a wrong number, somebody always answers?
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?