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I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
Today I am thankful that I don`t post what I am thankful for on Facebook, every day in November. Or ever.
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
Being ‘clean and sober’ means I’ve showered and I’m headed to the liquor store.
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.