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Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row boat ... and taking the tartar sauce with you.
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
Hold boobs not grudges.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
It´s never to late to be happy
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.