Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?