Daily Silly Status

I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.

Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.

It`s weird how we are all here because of boners

I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.

I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”

ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.

The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like

Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.

I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.

Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.

I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"

I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.

I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.