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I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
What`s the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller" ?
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.