Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
For once I’d like to get kicked into a bar
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"