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If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
My wife’s cooking brings a whole new meaning to.. eat sh!t and die.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
I don`t take steroids because I never want to look like I`m capable of helping my friends move.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches