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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
When people ask for my advice, I advise them not to take my advice. That really screws them up.
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!