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If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
Is there anyone called Phillip here? I found your screwdriver.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
My internet goes out more than I do.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling