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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
I accidentally spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
Receipts are just short-stories about how stupid you are with money.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...