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Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
I just peed so hard that I laughed a little.
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
Dear family, thank you for all those wonderful childhood memories ... Here`s my therapy bill.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.