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Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.