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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
I wonder if the girls on "16 and pregnant," will come back on "32 and a Grandma."