Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....