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Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you’d like to put in on Monday.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the pesky word "premeditated " gets thrown around in court.
pudding... thats always a funny word
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
You want to see Americans become activists? Cancel a TV show they like.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."