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This lady thinks repeatedly pushing the already-lit elevator button will summon it faster. I think I’ll push ALL the buttons when we get in.
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m an apple.
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
I used to play sports. Then realized you can buy trophies. Now I´m good at everything.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.