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Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Why is it when you have a day off you seem to bounce out off bed at 6am, but the days you go to work, it takes a forklift and 2 sticks of dynamite to separate me from my pillow??
I saw a bumper sticker today that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
The cop at your front door is never a stripper when you want them to be.
In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.