Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
Dieting Tip, 1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight, 2. Cut them out of your life. 3. Enjoy having lost Hundreds of pounds of Idiots.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
Beer: The WD40 for conversations.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.