Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People will do odd things to get even.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
I just made you think of an elephant
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
So she asked me "Do these pants make my butt look big?" And I said, "Not at all dear .. its the fat that does that." So now I´m single again.
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full.
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?
I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.