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The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting sh!tfaced.
Iām amazed by how quickly I forget what Iām doing.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.