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So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
Two years ago I became a proud parent. My kid is 6, but they were kind of a pain those first four years.
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.