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"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
Still haven`t answered my life`s calling... I`ve always just assumed it dialed the wrong number.
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for ā in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
Hello? HP? Iād like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....